Whoo. My last blog post. That was a little... I don't know how to explain it. I don't want to say intense nor do I want to say pathetic because I believed it was necessary. I just want to say that I feel better today despite the fact that I was up this morning at 6 A.M. with the runs, the first side effect of my medication that I have experienced so far.
Today, I want to talk about other thoughts that haunt me. Embarassing moments. I keep replaying them in my head, over and over again. Last night I thought about how I wanted to use unacademic sources for my research paper in a class in the past and my instructor had to correct me. I keep replaying that in my head and thinking that I should of understood that without having to be corrected, and how could I have made such an obvious mistake? I think, that instructor must of thought I was an IDIOT. But hey, I do know better now... It probably doesn't do me any good to stress myself out by thinking about it and getting depressed especially since I have written successful, and proper research papers since. Sigh.
Then there was another time when I mispronounced "superfluous" in front of a teacher. Also, the time when I was obsessed with the realism-romaticism dichotomy and was abitrarily (and therefore inappropriately) applying the concepts to everything.
Then there are times when I went to events that I completely misjudged what they were and showed up with inappropriate items/attitude/dress. Such as a party I got dolled up for and it turned out to be 6 or 7 people sitting around drinking beers and watching a movie and laughing at shit on youtube. A potluck that I prepared deviled eggs for and everyone else brought "snack food" instead of dinner items. An Art Festival that sounded intriguing because of the words "art" and "festival" which is basically a bunch of craftsman hobbyists selling their junk - no art to be found (and I had no money as I stupidly walked around looking at these people's uh, "art").
Well, there actually was one guy that had some artwork. But it was the abstract, "random paintstrokes and throwing paint at the canvas" artwork that some people are into. Personally, I just don't get it and neither did the old ladies shopping for knick knacks either. Poor dude. He just sat there all day, not a single customer! Well, maybe I should feel better then, because I probably wasn't the only person that felt utterly RIDICULOUS that day.
Anyway, so I am probably going to make dumbass mistakes for the rest of my life. It seems to be the way I am! I haven't said or done anything on the level of Jessica Simpson asking if tuna is chicken, but hey, I am near close. Oh, and misjudging things does not make you stupid. I don't know whether Sarah Palin or Jessica Simpson are idiots or not, but I don't think that unwittingly saying something stupid means youre an idiot. Maybe its just that most people are mean and insecure and any chance that they can get, they call somebody else out on their flaws, so they can feel better about themselves? Also, not to mention, people are constantly worried about saying the wrong thing and coming off wrong to the point when you have a conversation with them, it feels like they have everything they say in their head preprogrammed to respond appropriately.
So, people that don't misjudge situations, good for you. I don't know how you do it. But I definitely do it all of the time. Luckily, my boyfriend also misjudges a lot of situations like I do! Yay! So, at least I don't have to worry about what he thinks. Sometimes we misjudge situations together. How romantic.
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